CREATIVE EXPRESSION AT MY FINEST
If this damn bird doesn't stop following me, I will go mad! I don't even need to invest in an alarm clock because around 5 a.m. it feels the need to chirp by my window. I imagine myself sometimes going to the window and telling it to go to hell, but that would awaken my neighbors who already don't like me living here. When I go to work it seems to pop up at my job. It could be another bird, but I doubt it. This bird has a certain look on its face like it hates me.
Its even jealous and stops me from dating. I was at a restaurant and really into this lady until I heard the bird. I looked up at the window and there it was on a tree branch just chirping away annoyingly at me. I was so disturbed that I got up and left without a reason. She looked at me go out the door with a surprising look on her face. I called her later that week to explain. It really wasn't an easy way of telling her that I was on the verge of losing my mind.
So I made up an excuse that I was having a bad anxiety attack and couldn't explain it. The romance certainly fizzled away. Things started to really get bad and I decided that I could beat the bird by buying ear plugs. For a few weeks I was able to find some peace as I slept. It made the daytime harassment bearable. Until one night, the bird got clever. I was doing a night time meditation with my headphones on and the same annoying bird noise was included in the meditation.
I was totally the opposite of a blissful state. I cried out to the universe for the bird to just go away from me. It seemed to only call it in even more. I started to notice the bird on shirts. My closest friend invited me to a bird watching event and I gave him the look of death. He slowly reached in his wallet and handed me a pamphlet on Jesus. That was my sure fire indication that something deeper was going on.
So one night before I went to bed I opened my window and invited the bird into my house. It flew through my window as if it was waiting for me to extend my welcome. It landed on my nightstand and didn't make a chirping sound at all. In fact, I felt deep in my core that it was awaiting a response. As awkward as this may sound, I was actually nervous to speak to it. I wasn't sure what to say. Somewhere in my brain I realized that I had lost it all somewhere.
I must of had a nervous breakdown somewhere in the past and didn't realize it. It definitely wasn't anything on my to-do-list. The bird still was there very patient. I took a deep breath and asked it why it kept harassing me. It cleared its throat and said, "Well...". My eyes were about to bulge out of my head. Cocaine must of been air born because I had to been high as hell. It then said, "If you would of given me your attention in the past then I wouldn't of had to." I was too far in to even question it so I asked, "What is it that you want from me?". It started flying around my room as if it was eluding the question.
It started examining my house and looking at pictures. I followed it around assuming it would eventually lead me somewhere. Or I would return from the Chronicles of Narnia. Either option was good enough for me because I was gonna commit myself and call life a done deal. It paused and looked at a journal on my coffee table. It asked me what I like to write. I told it that I usually journal down my experiences in life.
It asked if it could take a peek. So not only could this bird talk it could also read. Of course! I ended up offering it a cup of coffee. It declined saying that it is allergic to caffeine and preferred tea. So I went and put on a pot of tea. We sat at the kitchen table drinking tea. It flew up to my shoulder and asked, "How do you feel about your life?" I told it that I thought it was good. It got philosophical on me and said, "Thinking something is good and feeling something good are two separate entities." Mind blown!
I never really thought about feeling before. I was always a guy who thought things through even down to my emotions. Everything had to make logical sense in order for me to process experiences. He asked me to release my thoughts and to just feel. So I closed my eyes as he chirped lightly in my ear, but this time it was soothing. I felt connected to this bird in a way that I never felt for anything else. My heart started to feel and I felt a surge of energy flow through my body. My thoughts couldn't seem to get through because this feeling was good. There was no way to even process it.
I was too far in to stop it so I surrendered to the feeling. His chirps were harmonious and matched my heart beat. I felt my heart and it felt really weird. I even said hello to it. I started to come back to current reality and noticed the bird was gone. I didn't feel it fly off of my shoulder. I looked out the window for it, but there was no traces of it. I went to bed and awoke the next day hoping it would be there, but it wasn't. My heart still was feeling good and I was feeling happy. I went about my day in a good mood. I called that lady up from the date and invited her over to my place.
She was a little hesitant, but my positive energy was too contagious to resist. She came over and I was more entertaining than usual. My focus was on getting to know her. I was present in the moment and fully in control of my happiness. We were running out of wine and I went to the kitchen to grab another bottle when I heard the chirping. I immediately jumped up and opened the window as wide as possible. It was my greatest ally! It is amazing how what you think you hate can end up being the thing you love the most. He approached the kitchen counter and I just started talking about how good I felt. He was so pleased to hear about it.
I was so excited that I forgot I had a date. I didn't even hear her approaching the kitchen. She walked into a situation where a man was super excited talking to a bird. She told me that I was really drunk and that she was going to go home. I was so glad that I could use the alcohol as an excuse for such "exotic" behavior. I agreed with her and walked her to the door.
My bird pal came in and he had a glass of wine with me. I told him to stay the night over because he shouldn't fly drunk. I made him a corner on my night stand and he settled in. I realized the purpose of him flying into my life. He was guiding me to listen to my heart and to settle fully into my experience. I was so busy trying to drown the noise out that I missed the entire message of living. I am grateful to have met my new bird pal and his assistance to my awakening.
Creative expression at MY finest.