This week has been an emotional roller coaster and I felt compelled to document my experiences with you all.This week I found myself more withdrawn and easily irritated by others. My ego felt like my personal space was being attacked and that drew in people to attack it through the law of attraction. I also found it hard to let go of disagreements even though I took the initiative and solved them with love. I was proud of the emotional maturity that I have gained, but my ego wasn't. I kept sending out energy healing to others to not have any bad vibes against them because my ego was striving to be correct. It didn't like the idea of not proving the other person wrong. My soul and my true agreement cares more about striving for compromise and that is the truth that I embody. I worked on energy healing for three days straight and eventually the feeling went away because I realized no one could take my power.
It is only me that can give my power away. Even if the other person wanted to hold a grudge I wouldn't because I believe in peace in spirit. It was a real challenge for my high sensitivity to engage with others who are entrenched in 3D realms, but I did it. Yay! I have been feeling intense resistance to my desires as I have released my masculinity back out into existence. Every fear I have felt has been released to the surface and my ego has been talking a lot of shit. I feel like a divided being as my soul sits calm and not bothered by my ego. Yet, my ego contradicts every desire that is in alignment with my soul purpose. Some moments I didn't even realize that I actually bought into its nagging words as it sent me on what I like to call a "frenzy".
In a frenzy, I question everything that I believe and end up bringing my vibration way down. I look outside myself for confirmation for all of the magical experiences that I am experiencing. It just seems like a different world living within your spiritual truths and utilizing spiritual gifts you never dreamed possible. My ears has been itching like crazy and I know that is a sign to listen to my intuition. I have been seeing an explosion of synchronicity telling me that my path is correct for me, but the ego in my just rolls her eyes. At moments, I would allow my ego to throw its temper tantrum with all of its questions of how something will come about. It also likes to tell me that what I want just doesn't make sense and I know that is because it likes to know details. It doesn't understand living with divine timing.
It is trying like hell to protect me from new experiences though my soul has the best capability to lead the way. I pulled out all of my healing tools and became my prime client this week. Some techniques that worked was a yoga workout to conscious music and meditating in the morning with my crystals. Today, I feel much better as I write because writing helps assist in energy healing my current situation. There is a blessing in my current situation and that is to continue walking by faith instead of by sight (SURRENDER!!!). I did notice that usually in the past when my vibration would decrease so would the accuracy of my synchronize messages. This time, my synchronicity stayed at a high vibration and were "louder". The messages were more frequent and clearer than ever to the point my vibration wouldn't have a choice, but to go up.
The message was that the universe was still going to deliver my utmost desires to me, but my vibration's frequency would determine the outcome of my blessings. I felt peace in that knowing and will continue to work on energy healing. This week wasn't all about growth as I did receive blessings too that will assist me along my path. I am currently working on my masculinity and finding ways of becoming an integrated being. Currently, the best place for it is in my career and fitness routine. It gives it a place to be determined and focused. I feel more comfortable in my femininity which is a total surprise to me! LOL I need my masculinity to give me a boost in persistence, focus, and courage to speak my truth.
It is a process and all of this is part of the journey to enlightenment and will make for a great story in the future when I have a speaking engagement. Today is the Lions Gateway Portal illumination in which is the most potent day for ascension so I will spend the evening hours meditating and focusing on my desires. It is truly a time of trusting my intuition and leaning on the guidance of the universe as they know what's best for me and since I am in the beginning stages of a new journey into the unknown I have no other positive choice. The ego is just trying to cling to the familiar and replay all of its old stories to get me to not go after my truest desires, but I will continue to keep walking towards them. This week has been transitory and full of positive change that is leading up to an amazing breakthrough. Thank you, for allowing me to share this experience with you this week. Many blessings to you on your journey!
Spiritual literature for the soul to inspire a better life.